Writing Sample #15

This example is a writing test from a potential employer.

Editorial Revisions

Instructions: Make these sentences clearer. You can revise, rewrite, and reformat them in any way.

My responses are shown in the Revision section of each table.

Original	Locate the lines that start with PreReqPath and modify the attributes to provide the prerequisite software install media locations. If there are multiple perquisites, each entry must be separated by comma (,).
Revision	Locate the PreReqPath lines and modify the media location attributes. Separate multiple prereq locations with a comma.

Original	Open the abc.txt response file from any of the examples provided in the media by using a text editor tool such as Notepad.
Revision	Each example includes an abc.txt response file, which you can open with a text editor (for example, Notepad).

Original	The grids can be reset to their initial settings by using the Restore Layout option under the TOOLS dropdown box from the Menu bar, or with the quick key <CTRL> R or on the far righthand list under Tools.
Revision	There are three ways to reset the grids to their default parameters: Click TOOLS > Restore Layout from the Menu bar. Press the <CTRL> R quick key. Select Tools from the far righthand menu. (For the third bullet, I’d ask the SME for clarification on the “far righthand list” and get a correct UI element name.)

Original	System navigation consists of various menu options and point and clicking on various grids, tabs, buttons, and so on to display more detailed information of the item of interest.
Revision	To navigate the system: Pick options from the menus. Click grids, tabs, and buttons to see details. Point to UI elements to display tooltips.

Remove the unnecessary or redundant words in the following phrases

Original	in an effort to improve
Revision	To improve the widget… Improve the widget by…

Original	all programmers or any programmers
Revision	Programmers can…. You can…(when audience persona is already established as programmers) As a programmer, you can Any programmer can…

Original	in a manner similar to
Revision	Similar to (depending on context) Like This language is similar to that language. The vernacular sounds like German but is spoken only in northeastern France.

Simplify the following phrases

Original	make a requirement
Revision	requires The heater requires electricity.

Original	steps for installation and configuration
Revision	Install and Configure Steps (heading) Installation and Configuration (heading followed by a numbered task) To Install and configure the widget: (followed by step 1 in the process)

Original	is applicable to
Revision	(applies to) The age rule applies to all Virginia drivers. (appropriate) Use an appropriate pronoun for each gender. Use procedural steps, and provide notes, hints, and tips, as applicable. You can use procedural steps, and provide notes, hints, and tips, as appropriate.

---